The Magical Mind

Scene 1: My terrace
These days were sultry as the scorching sun roasting as if the iceage is around the corner. So to beat the heat, i went out chilling myself to the terrace where i thought i could find some cold air in the evening. It was already 6 past noon so there was space for the stars n moon to take their positions. The pleasent breeze there made me stay their till night. Now my eyes set out its vision on a particular space on the sky where their was no star but some clouds to give a blunt gloomy and spooky look. Then i was wondering about the Blackhole, the mystic thing on the space that has made many astronomers and space watchers on their toes on knowing wats behind it or actually what it is!!!

Scene 2: Sandeep's Terrace
As we had no work or interest after the project episode and dying interest in everything i and k7 thought of visiting Sandeep's house while on the return after handing over the dvd's to one of the proffessors in my college. So Kesaven, Sandeep and myself were having a looooooooooooooong chat lasting for more than 3 hours till late night. All about life, changes, love, character, betrayel etc etc...... It was altogether a Rewind of all these four years with some revealitions. But i was all silent for most of the time as i was getting a point from them and also i had nothing to share that would kindle thier interest. So it was closing time with sandeep and k7 arguing on some controvertial topic and me a mute spectator unable to speak a word as some truth made me dumb. I was restless altogether and both could not get a clue out of it totally. It was painfull to be mute and i had to be like that watching them argue as the situation forced me to be tight lipped. All parted with heavy hearts and returned home at 11.30pm.

Now scene shift from scene 2 to scene 1 as the above happened yesterday.........

Scene 1: continued(back to my terrace)
And i began wondering about the black hole and its nature. With a dull appearence drawing things towards it is a contra opposite nature to possess. Spiral and centric towards the core sucks you inwards leading to a never ending end which has a landing far beneath that u wont realise it to have a landing at all as it never has one. It is as ununderstandable as the former line with repeatable features without a conclusion nor a direct meaning. No one dares to explore it via a techno junky mass of exploring rovers or space shuttles as it would end up with only a failure or a nill result. One can step near it, beside it, before it but never into it, if at all it happens there would be no one to report on the inner sight for further developments. Is it actually a entrance that has a big universe into it or just a chunk of invisible matter that makes a transparent camouflage to the external view is still a question to ponder. Or does a cosmic reaction or explosion makes things lost when confronted by it is also a puzzle.

Out of both the Scenes:
How well does this relates to human conscience and the mind's play with heart(manasu) is unexplainable...... may be restricted for desection of truth....due to a lock of the past and to preserve the future, standing in front making it impossible to understand each other through a clear vision of focus that everyone misses to understand. Really MAGICAL indeed. I wonder why does all these happen and why do we recollect it. A MENTAL BLOCK OF THINGS.

I stop with this now....too boring for myself.....

For the past 15 days nothing is working out my way. Be it academics or meek promises, i cant keep up nothing to its stable end. It all started from the HOL(Hands on lab sessions). I had arranged a HOL for the 2nd, 3rd and a few 4th years during one of the early sundays this month. And we Microsoft student partners had promised a certificate and a DVD for all those who attend it. Unexpectedly we had a large crowd of 250 with a rousing response. As all started well our administrator flunked us by providing oly 90 proper systems as against the needed 250(Though we had made some 160 systems ready with VS2005 installed, our admin played with those logins so that we lost 70 systems on that day. I ve to thank my frens Arulraj, K7, Bala, junior santosh and Vijay for helping me out staying all night till 9 in the college for 3 days). But we somehow managed to make the HOL happen(Thanks for the management skills of the champs who visited that day). But we could not issue the DVD's as the content and writing work was pending.

And now my documentation had to be submitted within 15th, though had completed it on time could not get it verified on time to proceed it to binding to give it a shape as i had still not given out those DVD's. Barring all those rave looks and hurting words from my HOD(though cant blame him as he was pestered by the other students for the DVD's n certificate) who has not meted out such a treatment to me all these years, i ducked him by bunking college and sending my proj mate sandeep to take on with him to complete the work. But it was neccessity that i cant bunk more than 3 days as it was my last days in college n was missing my friends, so had to trail back to college by giving stories as excuse for not getting the DVD's. The problm here was that the college was closing within a few days that now all the students were on thier toes to get it within the last day as they had paid for it. I had to met it out all with my documentation at stake now. And am yet to get the DVD's from the shop.

With all these running over mind, now the problem asises within me. I am going forgetfull and inefficient day by day. First i could not make the final touches of my project which could ve been completed with ease. Secondly i had promised my friend with their project but had never turned out to it as something or the other drives me out of their way. Though they have helped me a lot, i could not make it in return. Third was a awesome blunder by the great me. I missed the documentation and a softcopy of my project in the bus which was to be signed by my HOD today. So again documentation was in trouble with a loss of Rs500 towards reprinting it. Thanks to sandeep as he did not react to it though the fault was mine. And more to come was.........

While making a ride to the printout zone we took the cd case without the cd and had to track back again to get it. And it was not over with it. After getting the cd in place n printing was goin on fine, then we realised that now the completion certificate was left alone in my house and as the time was already 9.30 the shop denied binding if we return late to him after getting the letter . So with another day wasted, docu was under threat with just 3 days left for review. Adding to my woes, my internal guide is out of station and not available to sign my docu even if i get it binded by tomoro. And worst was i behaved badly with my sisters friend who is a developer by position in her company that i let out rude words for a meek reason that she asked me a CD key for Vs2005(I dono wat the hell damn am i up to make further situations worse is still a question).

All i did n got for the last fortnight was embarresment, rave looks, poking words, frustration( i hate to use this word again n again in my blog anymore), unkept words, amnesia, insulting looks from juniors for not giving out the DVD's(they think as if i was having a good weekend freak out with a girlfriend with all the money they gave. Worst was one of my friend asked me how much did i get as commision!!! Man it really hurts....). Frankly speaking i ve spent more than 150 towards feedback forms + some 100's towards transportation + petrol and phone calls for which i got nothing in return except for a the above FANTASTIC experience altogether which gave this month a dreadfull start. And now decided to take the cruise my way, made up my mind to bash up all that comes my way to battle it out for wats in store for me the remaining 15 days.

Lesson learnt:
If u leave things to take their own way to fulfill ur wish it ll never go by anyway to make u happy. U never get a piece of gold without beating it out hard roasting it in fire. So no "pattu" "chellam" or "please" will make it.... rather Screw it up to tune your way to success. Letting ur manasu or work to go by its own way will never help us out. So if u feel some rude words will do, dont hesitate to throw it out....coz its not ur fault to do it that way or else u would be writing all these crap like me. Dont let others take u lightly for getting a useless name of "wow !! u r sooo polite!!". Damid who the hell needs it. Titles wont get ur destiny but instead action indeed.

But alas to eat up my words.......things cant be changed overnight......Damage done is done. And resurrection is up to me to do!!!......

Pongada neengalum unga ulagamum......

As usual i took off late from bed and ended up rushing to college. Sandeep used to pass by my house as he daily does to pick me up on the way, but again as usual i was late n he had to leave without me. This time my brother took on driving to help me catch the bus. But by the time i reached the stand, the bus had left and we had to take a shot cut to intervene the bus. But for my surprise i was in midst of 2 buses now.

In front the usual bus i take and behind was yet another bus of my college's fleet of 52 buses. Now was in a dilema to catch the usual one or to stop by and board the bus behind me. But my senses told me to catch up the one in front and i pushed my bro to throttle the accelaration to its best. But tragedy struck as we were stuck in middle of the traffic and my usual bus escaped out of sight. and by the time we cornered the road to catch the other bus behind, it pissed off from aside to make me ayyo.

Now ran towards a nearer stop and caught a spare bus my coll maintains. Though somehow got myself to a seat to breathe,,, had now realised wat really is life when among choices. Choose your right choice or you wont get either of it. And if u are lucky enough as am , may be u could get a spare(no double meaning).

Now make ur thoughts clear and set ur notions high and steady, aiming right to the spot wat u deserve to get and wat you ought to get, if at all you come to meet choices that make you out of the world. When you choose to go the wrong way then you deserve to be let down by your decision that ll succumb you in ranks depending upon the situation that the decision was made.